if i cant turn this around
im going to end up alone
he stares at me with disbelief
when i tell him what i've seen
how i grew up and why i cry
he cant understand
but he tries
he holds me like he loves me
and i want to believe
but doubt shouts at me
what if im just seeing things
i want to see
living in the clouds
avoiding anything too scary
should i just make peace
that im never going to be
who i dreamt when i was young
today i felt scared and hollow
it crept upon me
a memory remembered
from last october
the pain is in knowing
i shouldnt feel this way
but that doesnt keep the
dark away
like a veil it covers my eyes
blocking any rays of light
i try to hide it from my face
but i've heard them say
im faking, its nothing
im in my own way
they dont know
how it takes hold
i cant shake it off
i hate this
im scared
i want to run away
and the worst part is
he's too good for me
how can i keep up
how can i make him happy